we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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