Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
