i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
