I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
