i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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