and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize