I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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