whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
