is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Randomize
