dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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