coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
