no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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