wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
