My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
