I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
