Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
