No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't think brook has ever known best
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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