Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
