I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Welp...herpes.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
