he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
