I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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