She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
