absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
