I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
