My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
