Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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