i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
