every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
