Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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