Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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