Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
