okay pat passed out under dana's car
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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