left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
