We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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