32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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