Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
