i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
