I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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