I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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