brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
need another drink. this is the easiest way
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
