I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
