My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
