Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
