Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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