i already hear my dad disowning me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
