why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you would pick up someone in the library
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
