my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
