also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
he high fived his dick after we had sex
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize