My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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