Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
