could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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