I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
whose ass print is on the piano?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
