For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize