Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
