I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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