i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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