puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
