no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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