Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
