You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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