Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
