i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
